Temperament Family Portrait

So I've finally started reading Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's Raising Your Spirited Child, which Katie has been telling me is necessary if I'm going to live with the boy. It's definitely one of those broad audience books, written to be helpful to people of all stripes and educational background, but the author clearly knows her stuff, and I can skim the stuff I already know about (Introversion/Extroversion, for example).

The temperament scales are interesting for thinking about our family's fundamental dispositions to the world. Here's my rating of us (B, K, and M) on the nine scales Kurcinka describes:

INTENSITY	Emotional reactions are mild, low-key	1  2  3  4  5   B        K  M	Emotional reactions are intense, powerful; child is easily frustrated
PERSISTENCE	Easily stops; can be redirected; accepts “no”	1  2  3  4  5      K     B  M	Sticks with projects until they are done, doesn't give up, never takes “no”
SENSITIVITY	Not sensitive to pain, sounds, light, temperature; sleeps through noisy routines	1  2  3  4  5      B M,K	Highly sensitive to pain, sounds, light, temperature; needs quiet to sleep
PERCEPTIVENESS	Highly focused, not easily distracted, rarely notices things; can remember multiple directions	1  2  3  4  5      B     K  M	Notices things others miss, easily distracted; forgets multiple directions
ADAPTABILITY	Adapts quickly; easily changes activity; flexible with changes in routine	1  2  3  4  5   K        B  M	Adapts slowly; upset by changes in routine; may be upset by surprises
REGULARITY	eating, sleeping, and bathroom habits are regular	1  2  3  4  5  B,K    M	eating, sleeping, and bathroom habits are irregular
ENERGY	Quiet, stays put while asleep, plays quietly for long time	1  2  3  4  5      B  K     M	Highly active, always seems to be "on the go"
1st REACTION	Willing to try new things, comfortable in social situations, learns by doing	1  2  3  4  5      M B,K	Holds back before joining, learns by watching, distressed by novelty
MOOD	Usually positive, in a good mood	1  2  3  4  5      K  M  B	More serious, analytical

* Adapted from http://www.parentcoachplan.com/temperament.php and Raising Your Spirited Child.

Notice that Milo is only to the mild side of us on the scale on the 1st Reaction, and then only barely. I thought it was particularly interesting that I am to the spirited side of some things and Katie is on others. Note that Katie and I both score a 23, making us "Spunky Parents," the middle range of possibilities, while Milo gets a 36, placing him well in to "Spirited Child" territory. Note, too, that Milo and I are at opposite poles of Intensity and Energy, which we already knew but is interesting to see in color. That's why he wears me out so quickly.

He's opposite Katie on Persistence, which matches our experience of how irritated she gets when he doesn't listen. But because she's high on Adaptability, she can actually put up with his focus and need for gradual transitions pretty well.